You Just Might Find, You Get What You Need
by tutncleo
Summary: Gibbs discovers something at Abby's he didn' expect. BE WARNED: This is not my typical fare. The story contains D/s and BDSM elements and is slash. If any of that bothers you, please don't read.


**A/N: This fic is a departure for me. Please be forewarned. It contains elements of BDSM and establishes a D/s relationship between Tony and Gibbs. It won't be everyone's cup of tea, but it's something I've been wanting to explore with these characters for a while now. I also want to offer more than my normal thanks to Hilde, who aside from her usual fantastic job as a beta, held my hand and encouraged me to give this a whirl. Hope you enjoy the story.  
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"**You Just Might Find, You Get What You Need"**

"Gibbs, I need you at my place."

Hearing those words, Gibbs could feel the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. The week had already been the second most horrific of his entire life, and now he was getting this call. Somehow he knew things were about to get even worse.

"Abby? I can barely hear you. Can you speak up?" he said into the receiver.

"No. Just come," she whispered urgently, and the phone went dead.

Gibbs set down the sander he was holding. It was Friday evening, and he had been hoping to lose himself in his newest project, desperately needing the distraction. Sleep had been out of the question. Every time he closed his eyes, visions of Kate, falling to the ground, a bullet between her eyes, rose up to haunt him. That's why he'd sought solace here, in his basement. Now he was going to have to go over to Abby's and see what the problem was. She probably picked up another loser, and wanted him to come scare the poor bastard away. Not that he really blamed her, they all needed to forget this week, if only for a brief moment, and this was one of the ways Abby tended to do that. The last thing he wanted was for her to stop calling him when things went wrong, so he couldn't just pick times that were convenient for him to go rescue her. Sighing, he grabbed his keys off of the work bench, climbed the basement stairs and headed for his car.

When he pulled up in front of Abby's apartment, he could see a dim light coming from her living room. Taking the stairs two at a time, he headed for her unit, thinking that with any luck at all, he could chase the 'date' out of there, and get home in time to work for a few more hours on the boat. Not wanting to wake the neighbors, he knocked softly on the door. Abby answered almost immediately, dressed in a black satin robe that left very little to the imagination and one of her usual black leather collars.

"Thank you, Bossman," she whispered, as she opened the door to let him in.

"You okay?" he asked. When she nodded he said, "Where is he?"

"In the bedroom," she answered, putting a finger to her lips to warn him to be quiet.

"He asleep? Why are we whispering? Let me get rid of him, Abs, then I've got stuff I need to do tonight," he told her, keeping his voice low.

He started for the bedroom, and although Abby made a grab to stop him, she missed. When he got to the bedroom door, he looked at the bed but there was no one on it. Scanning around the room, he was completely unprepared for what he found. There, huddled on the floor, his head between his knees, seemingly oblivious to everything, was Tony. Gibbs didn't even need to see his face to know it was Tony. He'd studied every little nuance of his senior agent carefully enough over the last few years to recognize him anywhere, and in any position. He just never thought he'd find him like this. Tony was stark naked, except for two pairs of heavy leather cuffs on his wrists and ankles. His back was striped pink with marks that Gibbs knew had been left by the tails of a flogger. Without even being aware he was doing it, Gibbs' eyes immediately shot up to his agent's neck, and he was irrationally pleased to find it bare, though everything else about the scene upset him. Having come to a dead stop when he realized who was in the room, Gibbs began to back out. Tony never so much as flinched, let alone looked up.

When he got out in the hall, he swung around to glare at Abby. Once again she held up a finger, and grabbed him by the arm and dragged him back into the living room.

"You gonna explain this?" he hissed at her, when she finally let him go.

"I was going to, but you didn't give me a chance," she hissed right back, ignoring his accusatory glare and managing to look like the injured party.

"Why is Tony squatted down in your bedroom, why is he naked, and why in the hell did you call me?" he demanded. He'd had plenty of fantasies about Tony, but none of them revolved around a naked Tony in Abby's bedroom. Finding him like that just pissed Gibbs off. He was confused, too. He knew about the games Abby liked to play, but he'd never thought Tony would go for them. Furthermore, he couldn't imagine the two of them together, not in that way. They were too alike, both of them demanding attention and domination with their every breath. His head was spinning as he tried to come to terms with what he'd seen, and he glared at Abby, waiting for her to answer.

"I'm going to try and answer those questions in the order you asked them," she said, swallowing a little, and falling back on her forensic specialist voice. As he stood there, staring at her, he realized he could see the remnants of mascara streaked across her checks, clearly left there by tears that had already dried. What in the hell was going on here, he wondered once again?

"That's not Tony's collar you're wearing, is it?" he blurted out in horror, as the idea suddenly occurred to him. He'd never thought of Tony as a Dom. In his imagination, Tony was his sub, sweetly giving everything up to him, not holding anything back. But those were just fantasies, not real life. In real life, Tony painted himself as a playboy, a serial dater who never met a beautiful woman he didn't want to bed. Now, after what he'd just seen, he didn't know what to believe.

"No," she snorted as if that was the craziest thing she'd ever heard, but underneath that bravado, he could hear a trace of bitterness. "Do you really think he leans that way, Gibbs? After all the head slaps you've given him over the years, and the way he eats them up?" she asked him, and there was something akin to accusation in her question, which made him even more uncomfortable for some inexplicable reason. "Sometimes he comes to me, when he can't get what he needs anywhere else. So there's your answer to the first question. That's what he's doing here, and it probably answers number two, as well. Guess you can figure out why he's naked," she concluded defiantly.

Apparently this was going to be a night of revelations. He'd never pegged Abby as a switch. He'd always assumed she was an aggressive sub, who would fight her Dom every step of the way, but would ultimately submit to someone who could win her respect. He sure as hell knew what happened to those that couldn't, and refused to accept that. They ended up getting booted by him, after Abby called. Picturing her occasionally acting as a Dom was more difficult, and imagining her as being capable of topping Tony, nearly impossible. What he couldn't figure out was why she suddenly seemed angry with him, as if this was somehow his fault.

Even more unsettling was learning that Tony didn't do this just with Abby. After all, hadn't she said he came to her when he couldn't find what he was looking for somewhere else? Jealousy spiked through him, and he struggled to push it away. Can't go there, he told himself. He isn't yours.

"Why is he crouched on the floor, Abs?" he asked next. He couldn't very well back away now, claim it wasn't any of his business. He'd made it his when he'd answered Abby's call, and had only dug himself in deeper when he'd asked for an explanation. He might as well hear it all, because clearly something was drastically wrong.

"Let's go sit down," she said quietly.

"Shouldn't you be in there helping him?" Gibbs didn't know the particulars, but he could tell Tony was in serious distress.

"He doesn't want my help, not really," she said and her eyes filled with tears again as she moved them towards the couch. "That's why I called you."

"You lost me there, Abs." This was all just a little too much to process fast. He was trying, but he'd been knocked seriously off balance when he'd seen Tony, and nothing he'd learned since had helped him regain his equilibrium. "Maybe you'd better back up a bit," he suggested.

Abby nodded and took a deep breath as she collected her thoughts. How much should she tell Gibbs, she wondered? Tony trusted her with his secrets; that was why he was there tonight. But she couldn't make things better for him, not this time, and the only way she could see to solve the problem was by revealing his biggest secret. Gibbs knew that she was more than a tourist in the local BDSM community. She'd never hidden that fact from him, and even though he hadn't ever volunteered any information, she sensed that he, too, had more than a passing familiarity with the lifestyle. She had always been suspicious about the true nature of his relationship with Stan Burley, although she'd never been able to work up the courage to ask either one about it. But she doubted if he ever suspected that Tony was known to frequent certain clubs on occasion, also. Or that his seemingly straight senior agent wasn't necessarily very picky about the gender of whom he went home with. Those were the things she'd promised him never to tell, but Tony needed help, and she was convinced only Gibbs could provide it.

"Tony's not going to like me talking to you about this," she said aloud, as she chewed nervously on her bottom lip.

"Then why the hell did you call me, Abs?" he snapped.

"I didn't have any choice," she started to defend herself.

"We always have choices," he interjected.

"Not really, not this time anyway. Not if I was going to get Tony the help he needs," she said quietly.

"Then you're going to have to tell me what's going on."

"I first saw Tony at a club maybe a month after he started at NCIS," she began, putting special emphasis on the word club. "I didn't let him see me. I didn't know him well enough then, and it really isn't the kind of thing you want to reveal to a brand new co-worker." She paused to make sure Gibbs understood what she was saying. "It was easy to stay out of sight. He spent most of the night kneeling next to his table. Besides, the woman he was with seemed very possessive. I didn't want to cause him any trouble." There, she'd done it. She'd made it very clear to Gibbs what they were talking about here. She could tell he was following her, because his face had hardened when she'd mentioned Tony's Dom. His reaction also confirmed something she'd always been suspicious of. Gibbs was not immune to Tony's charms.

She continued, "I saw him with her a couple more times over the next few weeks, but then I didn't see him at the club again for a long time. Then one night he showed up by himself. He was definitely on the prowl, and wasn't trying to hide it. Every unattached Dom in the place gravitated to him like he was a magnet, and I got worried. Most of the people who go to this club are okay, but sometimes you can get someone who's really dangerous, who won't respect the boundaries or a safe word. Do you know what I mean?" Again, hoping she'd been right about Gibbs, that he knew more about the scene than he ever let on to her.

Gibbs nodded his head once, tersely. As he sat listening to Abby, he'd had to work hard to keep a scowl from appearing on his face. He didn't like hearing any of this, and the idea of Tony surrounded by a bunch of second rate Dom wannabes really pissed him off. He had to remind himself that he didn't have any claim on Tony, at least not in his personal life.

"When I saw him getting pulled out onto the dance floor, by a guy I knew was only interested in seeing how much he could hurt someone, I had to intervene. I didn't have any idea how experienced Tony was, and I couldn't just let him get into something he wasn't going to be able to get out of. He looked kind of freaked out when I stalked over to him, but he let me drag him out of there. That's when it started with us."

Abby had just managed to stun him again with that piece of information. Apparently his seemingly uber straight senior agent wasn't so straight after all. All of these were things he could have done without knowing. It had been easy to fight his feelings for Tony when he had more than just Rule Number Twelve to fall back on. Any time the longing had threatened to get away from him, he's been able to clamp it back down by reminding himself that Tony was only attracted to beautiful women, and was probably as vanilla as they came. Now he didn't have those illusions anymore, and he was pretty sure the things Abby still had left to tell him were only going to make him more unhappy. "How does all this get us to tonight?" he asked gruffly.

"I'm trying to explain," she answered.

"Do it faster," Gibbs barked. "How long is he going to stay like that?" he couldn't help asking, as the image of Tony, hunched on the ground in Abby's bedroom, once again pushed itself to the front of his thoughts.

"When he collapsed there, I told him to stay, so he probably will. He's good at following instructions. But I don't know what to do for him. Nothing like this has ever happened before," she said in a shaky voice.

"You're his Dom, deal with it," Gibbs ordered her. She'd taken on this responsibility; it was up to her to make things right for Tony.

"No. I'm not. I could never be. That's what I'm trying to make you understand. Usually we don't even have sex," she said, continuing to give him information he wasn't prepared to deal with. "I'm just a person he comes to sometimes, to help take the edge off things, but I know I'm not the only one. I'm just the safest choice. With me, he doesn't have to worry about the wrong person seeing him and having his secret get out. I can't give him what he really needs though, no matter how hard I try. Look at him." Her voice cracked, and tears were sliding down her face now. "He was desperate when he got here tonight. After what happened with Kate, and then Ari getting away, he needed to let go, needed to leave it all behind. But it wasn't working, no matter what I did. Finally he just folded up right where you saw him, and he hasn't moved since. I don't know what to do, how to fix it for him. That's why I called you. I'm not who he really wants."

"So who does he want? And why didn't you call them?" he managed to ask, although he was having a hard time speaking, since jealousy was threatening to choke him.

"I did," Abby said, in a whisper so quiet he barely heard her. It took a moment before the full implication of what she had just said sunk in.

Tony wanted him. That's what she'd implied. That couldn't be right. "No," he said aloud, shaking his head.

"Yes," she said. "That's why he chooses women more often than men. That way he doesn't have to compare them to you. And when he can't take it anymore, the men he lets pick him up are just poor imitations of you, and he always ends up being disappointed. Jesus, Gibbs, sometimes, when he'd deep in subspace, it's your name he calls out."

Gibbs didn't want to hear this, any of it.

"I can't do this, Abs," he said in a low voice.

"You have to," she pleaded.

"You don't know what you're asking," he growled.

"I think I do. And I think you're the only one that can truly help him, that's why I risked calling you. He's not going to thank me for this, Gibbs. I just betrayed his trust. But he can't keep on going, hurting like this. It doesn't get better, not really. Every time he comes to me lately, he's a little worse off, and it gets harder and harder to take him down. And tonight, he just snapped."

'What about me?' Gibbs wanted to ask her. Even if he could help Tony tonight, where would that leave them in the morning? And how was he supposed to just let Tony go, after he'd finally gotten what he'd wanted for so long? Abby had said Tony never stayed with a Dom for any length of time. What would happen at work if that happened? Rule Number Twelve existed for a reason. He'd learned the hard way how fast a working partnership crumbled, after a personal relationship failed. And that didn't even take into account the fact that if Gibbs did what Abby was asking, he wasn't ever going to want to let Tony go. Hell, he didn't even let himself play this way anymore. He always ended up being too possessive, and it would be worse with Tony, he knew that. How could it help but be? His feelings for his senior agent went far deeper than mere physical attraction.

Gibbs needed time to think, but he knew that wasn't possible. This was one of those now or never moments. He had to decide if helping Tony was worth the risk to his heart, and he didn't have any time to waste. There were options. He could leave now. He was fairly sure Tony was so out of it that he'd never know he'd been here, and Gibbs was positive Abby wouldn't tell him. Then on Monday, they could just carry on the way they were, until, if Abby were right, Tony broke. And if he did that, Gibbs wasn't sure what would happen. Would Tony move on, hoping to find what he needed somewhere different, from someone else? Or would he just quietly self destruct?

Gibbs ran both his hands through his hair as he tried to sort things out, and Abby sat mutely by his side, imploring him with her eyes. Finally he gave up. He knew what he had to do. Standing up, he walked into the bedroom as silently as possible. Tony was still right where he'd left him. His back to him and his head buried between his knees.

"Tony," Gibbs barked in his most forceful voice.

Tony's head shot up, and swiveled around to look at him.

"You've got one minute to get your clothes on, boy." Tony just stared at him in shock. "Time starts now. Make sure you take those cuffs off, too. I'll be waiting for you at the front door."

Having said that, Gibbs turned and left the room. He marched to the front door, holding his breath, not knowing how Tony was going to respond, or even what he was hoping Tony would do.

Abby chased Gibbs to the door. "You're not leaving, are you?" she cried out.

"Not yet," he murmured, as he tried to wrap his mind around what he'd just done.

In the bedroom, Tony threw on clothes, instinctively obeying Gibbs' orders, even though he was still so shocked he was incapable of processing what had just happened. He was dressed and out in the living room in well under a minute.

"We're leaving," Gibbs grunted, to both Abby and Tony. Neither one argued with him when he opened the door. He didn't turn to see if Tony was following him as he headed for the stairs. It wasn't necessary. He knew Tony would, his showing up at the door had confirmed that for Gibbs. When they got out of the building, Gibbs nodded his head to where he'd parked. "My car," he snapped, and punched the remote on his key ring that unlocked the vehicle, and walked around to the driver's side. Tony was already sitting in the passenger seat, buckled up, by the time he got in. Not a word was said as he started the car and pulled away from the curb. Out of the corner of his eye, Gibbs could see Tony hunched in his seat, his head bent down and turned slightly away.

Tony, for his part, was trying desperately to figure out what was going to happen. These last few days had him so off kilter he wasn't sure about anything anymore, and that wasn't a condition Tony enjoyed. He worked hard to compartmentalize and order his life, it made keeping secrets easier, and Tony had always been very good at keeping secrets. That's why he'd gone to Abby. He'd needed somewhere safe to let go, to stop thinking, to allow himself only to feel, and when he hadn't been able to, he hadn't known what to do.

Gibbs had been different since Kate was killed, Tony thought, kinder and more considerate, but instead of consoling him, that had only served to upset Tony more. He wanted to feel normal, to have things back the way they were the week before, even though rationally he knew that could never be. And Gibbs was central to that for Tony, even though his boss didn't realize it.

The freakishly nice Gibbs seemed to have disappeared now, though. There hadn't been anything gentle in the way he'd barked at Tony in Abby's bedroom. Why would there be? He'd walked in and found his senior agent naked in his forensic scientist's bedroom. Not even taking into account the cuffs and what those implied, there wasn't any way to deny that Gibbs' precious Rule Number 12 had been completely blown away. And then there was the position he'd been in, curled up into a ball on the floor like some emotional mess. Not exactly the way to impress the person you most respected, he though in humiliation. Why had Gibbs shown up, and what had Abby told him? Tony was working hard not to panic, as he thought about all the potential things she might have shared.

Gibbs let Tony sit and stew, not offering up any conversation. When he took the exit that led to his house, he saw Tony react momentarily, and then shut back down. Tony didn't ask any questions, and Gibbs didn't volunteer any answers. He wanted to figure out how he was going to handle things when they got to his house, knowing that what he did first would determine what happened between them. He couldn't make a mistake, not now. He'd accepted what Abby had said about Tony's feelings for him, knowing she wouldn't make up something like that, now he had to find a way to make it work, for both he and Tony. There wasn't going to be any going back to the way things had been, not after he'd ordered Tony to his car. By the time he got closer to home, he'd made his decision. He needed to show Tony how right things could be, and hope he came to the same conclusion.

After Gibbs pulled into the drive, he turned the car off, got out, and headed for the house. He heard, rather than saw, the passenger-side door shut. When he got to the front door, he held it open, waiting until Tony was in the foyer before stepping in himself. He paused long enough to lock the door behind him, and then spun around and slammed Tony against the wall.

"Something you want to tell me, Tony?" Gibbs growled as Tony's hands scrabbled along the wall, in a futile attempt to regain his balance.

"Boss, I know that was against the rules, but there's nothing serious between me and Abby. We just…." Tony stuttered out, trying to anticipate Gibbs' next remarks.

"Wasn't talking about that. We'll come back to that later," Gibbs interrupted him. Then, on the spur of the moment, Gibbs took his right arm, which had been pressed against Tony's chest to hold him in place, and pushed down on Tony's left shoulder. Tony immediately sank to his knees, his chin dropping to his chest. "That's what I was referring to," he snarled, although he wasn't at all dissatisfied with the fact that Tony instinctively submitted to him.

When Tony didn't answer him, Gibbs reached down and fisted Tony's hair, forcing him to look up. "I expect you to answer me when I ask you a question."

Tony's eyes were huge, and for once his expression was unguarded. Gibbs could see shame, fear and longing wash across his face, as the conflicting emotions battled for supremacy. "Doesn't look like I need to," Tony managed to mutter, mortified by what he'd just done. What was the point in trying to find some plausible excuse for what Gibbs had seen earlier, when he was on the ground, kneeling at Gibbs' feet? He tried to look away, but Gibbs just tightened his grip on his hair, keeping his head in place.

"Are you ashamed?" Gibbs asked him, his voice lower this time, but equally as demanding. The look on Tony's face had explained a lot to him, but he was going to have to force Tony to talk to him before they could move on from here.

Tony didn't have a clue what answer Gibbs wanted him to give. 'Was he ashamed?' That was a joke. The list of things he was ashamed of was so long he'd lost track of all the items on it, he thought bitterly. So just which one did Gibbs want to know about? How about the fact he'd fucked up every relationship he'd ever had; that was a good one. Or maybe Gibbs wanted him to admit he sometimes got to the point where the only way he could go on was to allow someone to strip him of all control, and that half the time he resorted to finding anonymous strangers, who never seemed to really do it for him. Or worse yet, that when he couldn't bring himself to do that, Abby took pity on him and tried her best to give him what he needed. And that he let her, knowing she was only doing it because she cared about him, not because it fulfilled some need inside her, too. That was sure to impress. Or how about his inability to keep Kate safe, did Gibbs want to hear about that? Or best yet, the fact his was kneeling there, one step away from coming completely undone, and yet he was harder than he could remember getting in a long time. Somehow or the other, he didn't think any of those things were likely to make Gibbs happy. Unable to turn his head away, he closed his eyes.

"Look at me," Gibbs commanded.

Reluctantly, Tony opened his eyes back up. "Do you think this makes you weak, Tony?" Gibbs pressed.

Tony was beginning to become confused. Nothing was playing out like he'd expected. Why did Gibbs keep pushing on this, and why wasn't he showing any contempt? On the drive over here, he'd prepared himself for Gibbs chewing him up one side and down the other, and then demanding his resignation. But that didn't seem to be what was going on.

"Cause if so, you're wrong." Tony blinked, as he tried to replay what Gibbs had just said. Surely he hadn't heard him correctly. But then, as if reading his mind, Gibbs said, "Do you understand? There isn't anything wrong with this."

When Tony still didn't respond, Gibbs pulled him back up and pressed him up against the wall again, covering him fully with his own body. He felt Tony's erection pressing against his own groin, heard the catches in his breath. Then, with his head next to Tony's, he said quietly into his ear, "Tell me what you need, Tony. Tell me what it was that Abby couldn't give you."

It seemed like an eternity to Gibbs, but finally, so softly he almost didn't hear him, Tony whispered, "You." He didn't have anything more to say. Somehow Tony knew that Gibbs was everything he had ever wanted. That he would provide all the things Tony had needed, but not been able to find with anyone else.

The instant he spoke, Gibbs could feel Tony's body begin to relax. He pulled his head back far enough to allow him to see Tony's face. His eyes were glassy, his pupils so dilated it was like looking into a lake on a moonless night, and he knew Tony was sinking into subspace fast. Gibbs couldn't let him slide down too far quite yet. Yanking both of Tony's hands up over his head and pushing his wrists together, Gibbs was able to hold them in place easily with just one of his own. Pulling the collar of Tony's shirt out of the way, Gibbs lowered his mouth to Tony's neck, licked it, and then bit down hard. When Tony gasped, Gibbs wrapped his free arm around Tony's hips, pulling him in even tighter, and ground his own erection against the younger man's, while he sucked on the tender spot.

"You sure about this?" Gibbs asked when he finally moved his mouth away from the blossoming bruise. Tony moaned and then nodded his head. "Tell me," Gibbs demanded. "I have to hear you say it."

"I want you," Tony managed to pant.

"It'll be all or nothing with me, Tony. I'll make the rules, I won't be gentle, and I'm not going to willingly let you go," Gibbs warned. "And I most definitely won't share you with anyone else. That's the way it's got to be." He couldn't be a sometime thing with Tony, like Abby apparently had been. This would be about far more than sex for him, and he had to know that Tony understood that and wanted the same thing.

"I already belong to you," Tony answered guilelessly, as he stared into his eyes, allowing Gibbs to see all of his vulnerability. That was what Gibbs had been waiting for.

"What's your safeword, Tony?" he asked. He didn't think he'd need it, but he had seen Tony earlier, and until he understood more fully what had happened, he wasn't willing to take any chances.

"Kubrick" Tony told him softly.

Gibbs kissed him hard. He didn't bother with finesse. The kiss was the acknowledgment of mutual needs and desires and acceptance. When Tony's lips parted, Gibbs slid his tongue in, laying his claim. Once he felt he'd made his point, he released Tony's wrists, allowing his arms to sag down by his sides. Gibbs then reached out, ripped open Tony's shirt, and pulled it down off of his body, letting it fall to the floor. "Get back down on your knees and show me how much you want me," he ordered.

Tony didn't need to be told twice. He dropped to the ground and immediately began unfastening Gibbs' pants. Within seconds he had Gibbs' cock in his hand, and was kissing its sensitive underside, while his other hand gently cupped and caressed Gibbs' balls. From where he stood, Gibbs could see the red marks Abby's flogger had left on Tony's back, and even though he knew Abby presented no threat, he couldn't bear the thought of someone else touching Tony's body. Gibbs grabbed Tony's face, opened his mouth with his thumb, and pushed the head of his cock between his lips. Tony instantly opened wider to allow him greater access, and Gibbs slid in deeper. He had to work to stifle a groan as he slid in. This was so much better than he'd ever imagined. Tony's mouth was wet and warm, as he sweetly twirled his tongue around Gibbs and began to lightly suck.

This was about more than sexual gratification. It was about dominance and submission, both freely given and accepted. Needing to express that, Gibbs cupped either side of Tony's face, as he began to thrust slowly but steadily. Holding his head in place, Gibbs pulled almost all the way out, until only the very tip of his cock was still resting against Tony's lip covered teeth, and then he thrust forward again, forcing his length back in. Over and over again he did that, each time pushing a little harder as Tony relaxed his mouth so that he could take him deeper. Finally Gibbs was hitting the back of his throat, and Tony was reflexively swallowing around him. When Tony began to rock slightly and make a muffled humming sound, Gibbs couldn't hold it in any longer. Relaxing his control, he shot his semen down Tony's throat, not slowing down until he was completely spent. Then, pulling himself out of Tony's mouth, he wiped his prick against Tony's checks, as Tony looked up at him with a glazed expression. "Upstairs," he grunted, when he was clean.

After pulling his pants and underwear back up, Gibbs silently led the way to his bedroom. "Strip," he ordered when they were both inside. Tony didn't hesitate. While Gibbs stood impassively watching, he toed off his shoes, and opened his jeans, letting them slide down his legs. He wore no socks or underwear, so it was merely a matter of him stepping out of the pants legs before he was standing in front of Gibbs completely nude. Gibbs was pleased to see that Tony showed no discomfort over being naked and on display.

He ran a hand down Tony's chest, enjoying the slight whimper that escaped Tony's lips as flesh met flesh. Tony was as beautiful as Gibbs had known he would be, golden skin covered in downy, soft dark hair that tapered down to a thin line as it met a neatly trimmed pubic area. His penis was painfully erect and dark with need, and as Gibbs petted his body, it wept drops of precum. Gibbs just ignored it, while he continued his exploration of Tony's body. He walked behind Tony and wrapped one arm around his hips, pulling him back against his own body and holding him tightly. Tony's head sank down and he shivered at the contact. Gibbs reached up with his other hand, and traced a finger over Tony's nipples, teasing them until they stood at attention. Then, without warning, he pinched the one he had been stroking between his fingers, causing Tony to jerk his head up and gasp in surprise. Before Tony had time to adjust, Gibbs reached over and did the same to the other one. This time Tony's only response was to let his head fall back onto Gibbs' shoulder.

Gibbs took that as an invitation, and he lowered his mouth to Tony's exposed neck, alternating between kisses, licks and bites, taking special care to worry at the bruise he'd raised earlier. He could taste salt on Tony's skin and the trace of something almost sweet that he couldn't identify, but suspected was just Tony's normal flavor. When Tony began to make a series of mewling sounds and started to squirm, Gibbs released his scrotum and reached up and fisted his leaking cock.

"You don't come until I say. Ever. You got it?" he asked, squeezing hard.

"Yes, Boss," Tony moaned.

His answer pleased Gibbs, and he released the pressure on Tony's cock and began to slide his hand up and down the entire length of the shaft, giving a little twist every time he reached the rim of the helmet. He smiled when he could feel Tony trying to keep his hips from thrusting in time with his rhythm. He wasn't about to let Tony lose himself completely yet. Not until he had answers to a couple of questions and established a few more ground rules.

"And you will never lie to me," he told Tony, "about anything."

"Mmmhmm," Tony groaned.

"Let me hear you say it," he insisted, and twisted one of Tony's nipples to punctuate his command.

"Never gonna lie to you," Tony panted out.

"Good boy," Gibbs praised, as he ran a soothing hand over Tony's chest. He continued to caress and stroke Tony for a while in silence, occasionally pinching him hard enough to remind him who was in control. The only sounds in the room were the ones coming from Tony as he struggled to keep from climaxing. Gibbs could feel himself begin to grow hard again, although he hadn't been worried. Just the thought of having Tony like this had been enough to fuel his fantasies since he'd hired the younger man away from the Baltimore P.D.

Tony was drifting along on a wave of pleasure. At first he'd had trouble believing this was really happening, after dreaming about it for so long, but he'd given up trying to make sense of things, and was content to let Gibbs take control of everything. All the pent up anger, despair, and self loathing were fading away, now that he was focusing all of his concentration on merely following Gibbs' orders and had given himself over to sensation.

As Gibbs felt the last bit of resistance seep out of Tony, he asked the one question he knew had to be addressed before he could let Tony fall all the way down. "Why did you go to Abby tonight, Tony?"

Tony immediately tensed back up. He had wanted to leave that behind him, and had kidded himself into thinking Gibbs would let it slide. The happy fog that had surrounded him began to disappear as he struggled to formulate an answer based on half truths that wouldn't draw Gibbs' attention back to all the ways he'd screwed up that week.

When Gibbs felt him stiffen, he stopped what he was doing and spun Tony around so he could see his face more clearly. He cupped Tony's chin and tilted his head up, forcing him to look directly at him. For the first time since they had started this, Gibbs felt Tony fight him. Tightening his hold, he firmly reminded Tony, "No lies. Why did you go to Abby's?"

"To forget," Tony mumbled.

"Forget what?" Gibbs pushed. He had to make Tony say it; that was the only way that he could ever truly let go of whatever was eating at him. "Tell me," he ordered, shaking Tony's chin when he didn't answer quickly enough to suit Gibbs.

"My fuckups….Kate, I didn't keep her safe….Then Ari escaping…All of it. It got to be too much, I was suffocating….I couldn't make it go away." By the end, Tony was barely whispering.

Gibbs didn't respond verbally right away, but he pulled Tony close and began kissing him again, as a reward for answering his question. He needed to offer more than mere platitudes. That had probably been Abby's mistake. Telling Tony everything was going to be fine wouldn't cut it, because they both knew that wasn't true. Kate had died, and Ari was still out there somewhere. Babying Tony wasn't the answer and neither was giving him the punishment he seemed to think he deserved. Gibbs slid a hand into Tony's hair as he continued to ravage his mouth.

Tony's panic began to ebb. He'd told Gibbs the truth, and nothing had changed. He didn't seem to think Tony was pathetic; he still wanted him. As Gibbs held him close, Tony drank in his kisses, letting himself open back up to the older man, and his last wall of barriers came crashing down.

"Lie down on the bed, face down," Gibbs said, when he finally lifted his mouth away from Tony's lips, and he undressed as he watched Tony hastened to comply, stretching his length out along the dark blue corduroy cover. Gibbs pushed Tony's legs apart and kneeled on the bed between them. He reached up, and pulled Tony's arms out away from his body, until he was essentially spread eagle. He gave Tony's wrists a quick hard squeeze, to indicate that he wasn't supposed to move, and then he released them and sat back on his heels, studying Tony.

Gibbs could still see faint evidence of Abby's flogger on his back, although the redness was almost gone. He'd be surprised if there was even any bruising there tomorrow. She must have stopped mid scene, when it became evident that Tony wasn't going to be able to find release. He knew he wouldn't need toys to make Tony fly, although he'd gladly use them, if for no other reason than to keep things fresh. But not this time. Tonight it had to be just him and Tony. Gibbs planned to prove to Tony that he could provide him with everything he needed through simple domination, and that there was no shame in his submission.

He scouted down to the end of the bed, and began to run a finger from the bottom of Tony's foot slowly up his leg. Gibbs intended to map out every inch of Tony's body, laying claim to it as he progressed. When Gibbs got the back of Tony's knee, he fidgeted in response to the touch, which obviously tickled. Gibbs slapped Tony's ass hard, and growled, "Hold still," before he let his finger wander higher. He continued his delicate torture, taking his time and noting every place that sent shivers coursing through Tony's body. Any time Tony moved too much, Gibbs spanked him, and redoubled his attention to that place, not moving on until Tony managed to still his body and submit to his touch. After he'd explored every spot on Tony's backside except his ass, which was now a pleasing shade of pink, he ordered him to roll over and repeated the process on his front, again avoiding his genitalia.

Eventually, Tony's eyes glazed back over and his skin began to shine from the endorphins that were coursing through his body. Seeing this, Gibbs smiled. Tony had finally completely accepted his touch, and was content to let Gibbs do what he pleased. Now he could move on. Without warning, he leaned down and engulfed Tony's dripping cock with his mouth, causing Tony to howl in surprise. It was Gibbs first real taste of Tony, and he allowed himself a moment to savor the rich, musky flavor, before he began to move his head up and down, sucking and tickling with his tongue as he went. Every time he felt Tony's balls begin to draw up, he would back off, and focus his attention somewhere else, like the inside of Tony's thigh, or on the soft skin along his pelvic bone. When Tony began to make a steady keening sound and his hands were fisting the sheets in his efforts to obey Gibbs' order not to come, Gibbs sat back up, and leaned over to pull out the bottle of lube that he kept in the drawer of the bedside table.

As he squirted some out over his fingers and used it to coat his dick, he looked at Tony as he lay on the bed. His eyes were open but Gibbs doubted if he was capable of focusing on anything, so lost was he in his own headspace. Gibbs reached down and grasped Tony's legs right below the knees, lifting them up and out of the way. Lowering the bottle to Tony's now exposed entrance, he squirted a little more of the lube on his dark hole, and then tossed the bottle out of the way. He ran a ringer around the outside, spreading the lube generously and watching as Tony's muscles responded to the stimulation. Then, very carefully, he began to tease a finger inside. Bracing himself on his other arm, Gibbs leaned forward and reclaimed Tony's mouth, as he slid the finger all the way in and began to slowly work it in and out. When he felt Tony's muscles begin to relax in acceptance of the intrusion, he added a second finger and then yet another. As he kissed Tony, his tongue mimicked the motion of his fingers. Finally, he deemed Tony ready, and Gibbs released his mouth at the same time he pulled his fingers out of the warmth of his opening. Repositioning himself, he aligned his own cock against the entrance, placed his hands on Tony's arms to hold them in place, and pushed himself inside, in a slow steady motion, until he was fully seated. Gibbs heard himself groan in pleasure as Tony's muscles clamped down around him, and he hung there for a moment, frozen, as he finally got ready to claim what he'd desired for so long.

"Tony, look at me," he commanded, and he waited as the younger man struggled not to come. When Tony's eyes finally locked with his own, Gibbs began to move. He thrust in and out, watching Tony's face as his need grew stronger and stronger. He let go of one of Tony's arms, and wrapped his hand around Tony's cock. "Mine," he growled, as he began to pump up and down Tony's length.

"Yours," Tony agreed, through clenched teeth. Perspiration was beginning to run down his face and into his eyes, but he refused to turn away from Gibbs to rub it away on the pillow his head was resting on. Everything in him was begging for release, as Gibbs tagged his prostate over and over again, causing him to gasp in pleasure, but he ignored his body's demands, having given it all up to Gibbs. Only he could tell him when the time was right, and Tony knew it was worth the wait.

Finally, when Tony was afraid that his body would betray him, Gibbs leaned down closer and said, "Come for me, Tony."

Tony was unable to keep from screaming as he let go completely and obeyed. White spots of light flared in front of his eyes as his body took over, and his brain shut down. He was so lost in feeling that he wasn't even aware of Gibbs following him over the edge, as he, too, came in wave after wave. When Tony began to come back down and managed opened his eyes, he realized that Gibbs was straddling him, while supporting his weight on one elbow which was resting right above his shoulder. He was running his other hand across Tony's face, wiping away the sweat, and smoothing back his hair. Tony had no idea how long he'd been out of it, and he didn't care. For the first time in ages, he felt free. He turned his head just enough so that he could press a kiss to the underside of Gibbs' forearm as the older man continued to caress Tony's face and hair.

When Gibbs felt Tony's lips brush against his arm, he lowered himself down even further, until he was completely covering Tony's body with his own. Bringing both hands up to cup his checks, Gibbs kissed him ever so lightly. Everything seemed to catch up with Tony at once, and as the emotions washed over him, he began to shiver uncontrollably.

"Easy, I've got you," Gibbs soothed, as he sat up and pulled the bedding out from under Tony's body. As soon as he had it worked free, he lay down next to Tony, and dragged the covers back up over them both. He wrapped his arms around Tony and tucked him into his chest. Tony could feel Gibbs kiss his forehead, as the shaking slowly began to subside. He felt like he should say something, but he was too blissed out to really form words. This was the feeling he'd been after for so long, but hadn't found. Unable to even keep his eyes open, Tony let them close again, nestled in closer, and fell fast asleep.

Gibbs lay there holding him. He knew he should probably get up and go get something to clean them both up with, but he was unwilling to leave Tony alone for even a moment. He tried telling himself that they'd have countless opportunities to lie like this, and yet he couldn't bring himself to move away. They still had things they needed to discuss. He needed to make sure that Tony understood he wasn't responsible for Kate's death, that there was nothing he could have done to prevent it. Gibbs intended to assure him that there was no way he was going to allow Ari to get away with her murder. And there were probably a host of other things he needed to address, too, but that was alright. He wasn't going to allow Tony to bottle things up inside anymore. Gibbs had claimed him, and Tony had said he was his. That was what was important. Everything else could be dealt with in time.


End file.
